Thursday, September 23, 2010

Road Trip 6 - Oldest City in America

St. Augustine teeters on the edge of the Floridian coast and the Atlantic Ocean like a stepchild left behind by father Europe. It holds tenuously to the mainland by a recently rebuilt bridge, modeled to look like the original with sentineled lampposts piercing the blue sky. The streets wind gently around Flagler College: a magnificent old world hotel still boasting columns of dark oak and a shiny entryway tiled with the cocoa browns, burnt oranges, and rusty reds of the early Spanish settlers.

The gardens are immaculately groomed; reds and purples and yellows bursting from behind neatly trimmed box hedges while the glossy palm trees babysit the downtown area, placating the steaming sidewalks outside of luxurious art galleries. Although the town itself is rather humble beyond its Spanish architecture, I imagine the older rich come here to vacation and acquire rare pieces they simply must have on display in their homes. For the more middle class are the alleys built to be tourist traps: chinky shops, the oldest house and oldest school room, the festival where everyone dresses like a pirate - not that there's anything wrong with that. I can imagine grown men wearing eye patches galavanting along the stone walls of the old fort, shooting off imaginary cannons over the port, looking out for a splash and a hit. To each their own, I suppose. I, for one, am quite enamored of the place.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Road Trip 5 - YUM


Caught this guy in a crab trap and had him for dinner, and as far as crab goes, he was delicious. Although turns out that I don't really like crab meat solo, so it is very possible this guy died for nothing, but he sure was pretty to look at.


We let him have a little stroll around the driveway before icing him. We figured it was the least we could do. 

Friday, September 10, 2010

Road Trip 4 - Oh Savannah, Don't You Cry For Me


Savannah creeps up on you slowly. You can be out in the middle of nowhere-ville Georgia tidal country, and half an hour down a two-lane highway later, big houses and Spanish moss are flanking the car doors on either side. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil made this city famous, and one can see why. One block in and you're practically walking on the pages themselves, descriptive words flying around at every turn. From the antiqued green fountains anchoring every square to the Southern mansions holding down the perimeters, this city drips old world Southern charm. Throw in the Savannah river, a brick walk along side, some quaint tourist trap shops and seafood restaurants, and the image is complete. Sprinkled with the occasional Jimmy Buffet cover artist of course.

Henry Ford had a plantation here that is simply beautiful and sizably ostentatious, and I was told that Juliet Gordon Low's house was a teensy bit scandalous due to her having placed her garden in the front yard. Everyone knows that when you work in the garden, menfolk can see your wrists, and that's just a bit too risqué. I can't find supporting information anywhere on the internet however, so that could be either accurate or inaccurate history. Bygones. At the very least, it's an interesting tidbit.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Road Trip 3 - Tackiest Place on Earth

A road trip down I-95 South in the Carolinas isn't a road trip without a stop at South of the Border - truly the tackiest place on Earth. I hear from my Mom's and from Jenilee's childhood recollections that this place used to be a wonderland of color, yummy oh-so-bad-for-you food, and millions of kids' gotta-have-this trinkets that are the bane of every parent's existence. South of the Border hasn't changed that much, but viewing it as an adult is a bit like seeing through a glamour that's cracked and peeling around the edges. Oh don't worry... the garish colors still abound on every fiberglass surface the eye can see, the unhealthy food is sold daily in any one of Pedro's various restaurants, and the kitchy brick-a-brack with which people still somehow manage to litter their houses dangles from every nook and cranny on both sides of the highway.

For $2.90, you TOO can own your very own Pedro!

You can also purchase more than enough salt-peter products to effectively blow up a front yard on a redneck holiday, and last but not least, please pet the Fruit Stripes zebras on your way back to the car. Be careful. Turns out they're not bolted down, and people must have run out of space on the cinderblock bathroom walls because they have Sharpied some not so nice things on their chests. Oh Carolina - practically another country even without a successful secession. 

Road Trip 2 - Woops, My B

No sitting in the corner for misbehavers in Williamsburg, VA. Sucks to be colonial. 

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Road Trip 1 - Dear DC Metro Area, Please Learn How to Drive

I tend to say one of several things when I’m frustrated with certain tedium. One: “I’m gonna poke my eyeballs out with a stick” accompanied by matching hand gestures. Two: “That makes me want to slam my head against a wall.” Three: “I’m gonna start clawing at the WALLS!!” Being stuck in traffic on southbound 95 headed out of DC on Friday morning made me want to simultaneously do all three. Add to this seismic stomach cramps, a misbehaving nerve ending in my right leg provoked by repeated brake-gas-brake motions, and American drivers’ absolute inability to efficiently merge, and our road trip was NOT off to a good start. We made it to Williamsburg in a record five hours; a trip that normally takes three. Welcome to... Awesome Town.