Pain and the Wonder Plant

Let me tell you, friends, a moped accident is the gift of pain that just keeps on giving. I spent my last few days in Mexico STILL on the couch, wondering what on God's green earth I could take/smear on my scabs to make them stop hurting, for the love. My plane trip home was nothing less than an evil to be endured, and I lost count of the number of complete strangers that looked at me and said "What happened?!?" If they didn't say anything, their expressions that silently said "Oooh" were enough. Yes, thanks, it is very painful, no, I don't need a wheelchair to my gate, yes, I have learned my lesson and won't wear shorts and flip flops next time. My stewardess on the flight out of Mazatlán took one look at me as I was boarding and said, "You fell off your moped didn't you?" What?? How often does this kind of thing happen?

Now I'm healing in the great state of South Carolina, where the temperature is literally that of the surface of the sun. It's like someone constantly following me around with a hair dryer, and I can get no relief from jumping in the pool although my leg is healing up nicely, thanks to aloe, the wonder plant. I snap off a thick, fleshy leaf and rub plant snot all over my knee once every couple of hours, and to my utter amazement, I can almost see my skin regenerating itself. Every few hours I also take a nap. Reproducing skin can be an exhausting task.