it isn't

My head tells me it's ok,
my heart tells me it isn't.
My lips tell me one thing
and with different words my body agrees,
but my mind is trying to placate;
to avoid the disappointment
if things don't turn out as I hope.

Why hope if you don't know? it repeats.
But my heart refuses to accept only what it sees,
instead beating wildly in the midst of imageries.
Stay calm, this isn't it,
don't hang your hat on hooks that aren't there.
There'll be a house soon with plenty of space
and room to touch and features on a face.
Wait, just wait, the world still turns
one orbit at a time, the life inside me coursing.

But time steals from me my magnanimity
and I drag my feet the way home,
because while my head tells me it's ok,
my heart tells me it isn't.