- Why Red Baron singles pizzas are so good.
- Why my neighbors across the street need to loudly listen to the same Temptations song every afternoon.
- Why I'm not making beaucoup bucks just sitting around my house.
- Why the rest of the planet doesn't carry Cheerwine in stores.
- Why people don't use turn signals and get angry when other drivers fail to acknowledge their turn.
- Why things at the Smithsonian Gift Shops cost as much as my first car. (Really, Smithsonian? Because I'm pretty sure that's just colored paper...)
- Why policemen around here seem to have Turrets when activating their sirens.
- Why construction projects take longer to complete than insects processing our compost.
- Why mosquitoes always bite on your ankle bone/knuckle/forehead.
- The purpose of short-sleeved sweaters.
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